I rocked some hair-metal extension action, a hipster headband, and a purple-r version of the Catcall makeup — tried out glitter lips and I think I’m ready to incorporate them into my everyday look.

Oh yeah, and I also sewed a stuffed ginger kitty onto the crotch of a onesie.  Whaaaat?  Hello!

Yes, it’s SuperPussy — leaping tall boners in a single bound.  Faster than a speeding vibrator!!

I opened for the Kiki Twins, who premiered their new video “Boobies” — omg this is amazing. “Put mah BOObies in yahh mhhoouuuuhhhth!”

Super. Sexual.

“give me the spanking i deserve!”

“no, harder!!”

“ooh….um, okay, that one was good. ‘preciate it.”

top 5 things that happened:

1.  my song crashed Perez! check the link AND these amazeface screengrabs!!!!

http://perezhilton.com/2010-06-15-crazy-eyes

THANK you, guys!!! writhing on the floor in my own gag juice from these wonderful compliments and positive-ass feedback.

2.  ian rex arrow wolfson let me lip-synch into his face!!

3.  gossip blog crushable.com doesn’t know whether to laugh or create a dialogue re: my steez!

http://crushable.com/entertainment/singer-chevonne-introduces-the-straight-girl-drag-queen/

4.  sinistergirlz.com let me talk into its tape recorder!!

(i will be guest-blogging over there as soon as i figure out what i’m gonna say to get you into m’pantz!!)

http://sinistergirlz.com/blog/2010/06/chevonne-is-ready-for-the-big-times/

5.  i’m gonna be on BET! …with none other than Estelle, the rising icon herself! do as the magenta scribble say, and get her new song NOW!!!

better believe i’ll be posting again in the morning!  ::big mintyfresh kiss with lots of tongue::

so, thursday sucked in a stupid way.

i was sick and coughing up what looked like the ancient remnants of a forgotten breed of dinosaur.  my fever was still raging, and my “AC-is-bad-for-singers” commitment to an open-window car was making me sweat bullets.

my face was oily and covered in pimples.  my unflattering outfit was thrown together haphazardly, and it showed.

my hormones were absolutely out of control. not too far from this:

i braved NYC traffic to get to my genius hairstylist. when the roots touch-up timer rang, we both realized that she had accidentally used my original color mix, which resulted in a yucky two-tone surprise.  she hurriedly painted toner on the rest of my hair before getting to her 3 other waiting clients, but two-toneage is definitely still visible.

on my way out of the salon, i almost tripped down a full flight of stairs.  luckily, my dancer’s balance saved me, but i was left with a painful scratch on my arm to match the oozing (but band-aided) gash on my foot (from trekking in brand-new doc martens in the heat a few days before).  i felt like a hot steaming mess (which i totally was).

the whining-girlymag voice in my head–left over from 2001–whispered “go ahead.  eat something crusty and fried.  you’ll feel SO much better, la la la!”

so, for my only meal of the day, i ate a colossal bag of sweet potato fries with tahini sauce, plus an iced coffee with wayyy too much syrup.  i didn’t feel better; just nauseated and guilty (genetics have blessed me with cholesterol over 250, so fries are a HUGE no-no).

came home to find my mom outside with the dogs.  i had told her about my horrible day in the car…but unfortunately, “oh yeah…it does look two-tone,” only made it worse.  i grumpily dragged myself upstairs to my room, leaving my mom super pissed because i’d sent a bitchy eyeroll her way.  ”u r so mean,” she texted from downstairs.  great.

just when i thought it couldn’t get worse, it got worse.  my facebook newsfeed passive-aggressively pointed me in the direction of some heartbreaking photos of an ex-almost-boyfriend getting cozy (read: moving into a house) with one of his other almost-exes.  i’m happy for them, but of course in my state of bustedness all i could be was confused and sad.

i sent an email.  (you: “CHEVONNE.  that is hardcore STUPIDface.” me: “i know.”)  i regretted it instantly.  the outcome was, of course, not favorable.

nobody’s fault but my own.

(you: “what is the point of this rambling, complainy post? your day wasn’t even really THAT bad.  have you turned on the news lately?”)

i know, i know.  but here’s the thing:  when you have a horrid, hormonal, emo, laughably awful day, there is literally nothing that will make it better, nor is there anything that can convince you it isn’t that bad while it’s happening.  even laughing with friends can’t fix it; when your friend leaves, you’re left with your Sad Playlist and a photographic memory for replaying the Greatest Hits Of Your Long Lost Happiness.

so here’s what i did:  i LIVED that sad day.  i wallowed in it.  i cried and let the mascara make tear-marks on purpose.  i raged it out on my man-sized body pillow.   i wrote lame angry  songs.

once, during a similar bad day months ago, i wrote a rambling, ranty blog post (most of which has been removed, leaving only a few vague sentences).

i don’t “get over it”…i get in it, under it, on top of it, covering myself with its icky goopy lameness.

and then the next morning, i wake up and i laugh it off.  i felt the feelings.  i sat in the dark and choked on its sour vein-purple taste.  and now all of it’s gone and in the past, and i can go about my business.

which is what i did:  ran errands, related the previous day’s misadventures to my best homegirls, made music, made plans, went out and tossed back a few.  i felt great!

so, i’m recommending this strategy to you.  sometimes a good, old-fashioned sulkfest is just what the doctor ordered.

my friend christina came with and took some delicious photos.  (in fact, we made an entire weekend of it and got into all kinds of shenanigans…but you only get to see the polished version!)

first off, this was my promo flyer.  NOICE

here’s the look, before i beat myself with it

here it is on me:

DJ Vito Fun hangin (haaa) — his pool set was spot. on.

spyin on my audience before coming outside

christina and i loved the boys in the swan.

i made my way down, lubed up w some sunblock, (maybe had some baybreeze sips) and got ready to go in!

pre-performance kiki

a little pose for Vito before i tossed off the shoes and went to work

i brought it HARD, premiering my track “She Crazy (She Craycray),” produced by Larry Tee of electroclash fame.

i know the silver foxes liked it.  and so did the rest of the pool!

naturally, we celebrated by walking down to the beeeeautiful beach and vamping some more.

until next time, you saucy little minx of an island! *spank*

my camera was buried way too far at the bottom of my travel bag for me to take any photos, but i did get some sweet shots of gorgeous moscow architecture at night!

my partner in background-singing called this the “candy house.”  we could not believe it was real…clearly we were de-sensitized by certain sugary board games as children…

apologies for the blur; my hands were shaking from the hardcore freezing wind!!  you know i’m a sucker for track lights…

gorg

haha, wow these really are blurry…sorry, my b.

what i didn’t (and should have) capture was my hotel room, which was beautiful and featured a bidet.  believe it or not, i had never used a bidet before, and of course i turned the water knob with a leetle too much elbow grease, and water spilled all over the floor.  i also may or may not have burned myself with scalding hot water.  sexay!

ironically, we did not drink any vodka; in fact, our show was the headline event for a party called Bacardi Mojito Night.  estelle asked the crowd if they were drunk, and one burly russian bellowed “we’re trying to, but we’re not!”  hahaha!  i didn’t drink any, so i can’t comment!

bathbloopers aside, i had a baller time, and i can’t wait until we go back!  peep the souvenirs:

(seriously?!?! a babushka’d guitar goddess?!? pinch me.)

Rex Arrow Films – Spring 2010 Lookbook from Ian Rex Arrow Wolfson on Vimeo.

and while we’re previewing stuff, let’s play Which One’s The Drag Queen?

A:  <3 Logan Hardcore! <3 but it was damn close, people.

i wanted to draw a tragic super-grrl with smallish boobs and a big booty, with an aesthetic that combined 80s hair-band with secret-agent mod.

never said i was an illustrator, but damn was that fun to draw.

so, i was wondering….uhmm…..

do you…maybe….uh…………………..wanna dance?

also, if i could do prom over, i’d wear this:

an original by devani weaver — check out her cute etsy store.

my mom is beautiful, wonderful, hilariousful.

here she is (middle) beasting it out on an arizona hike with my aunt and uncle.

and here she is fiercing it out with my sister and me on christmukkah.

she is the reason i’m me, and the reason i’m proud of who i am.  thanks for everything, mom!

when i become a mommy, she wants to be called GaGam (rhymes with bag-ham).  how cute is that?!?

also, someday i’m going to sing this song to my babies.  it is the best lullaby ever, imo.

here’s marina and the diamonds turning 3oh!3’s brodown groupie-loving anthem “starstrukk” into a drahma-filled lament dripping with quarterlife ennui.

and i have been seriously addicted to this cover of “beggin” (orig. by frankie valli and the four seasons) by the saturdays. i LOVE vanessa white’s glinty, rose-gold vocal tone (yes, hi, i have synaesthesia).

oh, and THIS gem is a stunner:  david guetta/ms kelly’s “when love takes over” covered by pixie lott.

why is everything SO much cooler in the UK?!