Join me in lovedeath over these custom Manson axes, crafted from raw sex, beer-and-sweat-soaked white Ts, and teenage screams for the Brit-rock band Muse:

“Bomber” — drop your luv on me!!!

“Chrome Bomber” — can you see my mouth gaping wide open in its reflection?!

“Lazer” — FRIGGIN. LASER. BEAMS.

“Red Glitter” — I literally want to lick this up and down.

Watch R-Glittz in action. I love this song.

For those Twihards out there, this is probably familiar to you…

Bottom line: I MUST learn how to play so I can sling these babies low on my funkchild-bearin hips someday.