I posted this photo because I drove HOURS yesterday to find this dazzling piece of hosiery; it had to be captured on film!!! I was sick all this weekend with fever and migraines, but I wasn’t about to miss my chance to hit the red carpet at NJPAC and watch the 2009 NJ Hall of Fame Induction.
But because I was too sick to go shopping before, I didn’t have a complete ensemble to wear. I zoomed over the G-Dub, bought my raunchysparkle tights, changed in the car (hoping no sickos were peeking thru the tinted back windows), and practically sprinted to the carpet! Of course, to my chagrin, there was a Diet Coke stain on my white dress from the last time I wore it. So I tucked the stain into the dress’s ruching and put on my bravest, rain-drenched face for the cameras.
After the carpets, I waited half an hour inside for the ceremony. This was a hilarious half hour, because everyone else in the lobby was wearing conservative black formal attire. They looked like they were all there to represent stoic non-profits and/or Jersey government. I stuck out like a coral-haired, chain-covered, cleavage-baring oddity…because, well, I was.
I got more than a few very shocked and disapproving looks from young kids and people of a certain age. Including Vincent “Big Pussy” Pastore from the Sopranos, whose particular expression was Violent Disgust with a side order of Abhorrence. (inner performance-artist: ”Mission accomplished!”)
Others deemed my look deserving of immediate handshake. ”Well, hel-LO there! WHO are YOU?!” (inner celebutante: ”Mission, like, accomplished! Where’s the champagne?”)
Others still were simply at a loss for words. ”So, uhh, how you doing over there with that soda?” Frankly, black cherry-flavored “Jersey’s Own” soda is a bit too sweet for me, thanks for asking.
The ceremony itself was so chock-full of Jersey Pride that I almost could not handle it. You can read about the inductees here…but the Jerseyest of them all was undoubtedly Jon Bon Jovi. And the presenters were celebritacious!
LaBamba and Mark Pender from Late Night w/Conan provided some hornage
comedians Rich Vos and Jim Norton!! hilarious
Toni Morrison!!! with actor Avery Brooks
Debbie effing Harry!!!! Sorry, bad camera work 
Jon Bon Jovi doing his best DeNiro
He is SO hunktastic. Look at that head of haaaair
The Jovester singing with Southside Johnny
My camera was running out of juice, and I had to save the last of it for JBJ, but Kat DeLuna performed, looking like a teeny tiny version of Karen Olivo (who I freakin love). She was dramzing it up all over the stage with her ridonkulously long hair and her extremely fringy dress. It was insane!
Then…the weirdest thing happened. I–a socially liberal chick who is usually pretty jaded about this sort of thing–had a SERIOUS “America moment.”
They presented the “Unsung Hero” award to 1st Lt. Brian Brennan, a Jersey kid who was seriously injured by a Taliban ambush in 2008. His injuries included acute brain injury, a collapsed lung, internal bleeding, a ruptured spleen, and broken arms. Both his legs were amputated and he was completely unresponsive to stimuli.
Although it seemed there was no sign of recovery for a long time, four-star general and Commander of US Central Command David Petraeus came to the hospital one day, and yelled out the nickname of Brian’s army regiment. Brian responded.
He underwent tons and tons of rehab and therapy…and he showed up to the ceremony WALKING and looking perfectly aware and alert. He spoke eloquently, and told the audience of future plans to teach at a military academy and volunteer at Walter Reed where he regained all of his abilities. Petraeus came and delivered a beautiful, touching speech in his honor.
At the end of this portion, everyone sang “God Bless America.” Usually I’d sulk about this and get all “this is so cheesy and stupid,” but I was a blubbering idiot, singing that song like it was the most important song ever. Because if that kid’s love for his country was the only thing that could bring him back, America must be doing something right.
