remember the days when we would put posters on the wall of MUSICIANS?!? cuhRAAzy to think of it now, in the super depressing age of Guitar Hero and Rock Band and, like, TweetTappin or iHumpin or whatever new poo they have out.

…as incubus once said, “wait!  there is a light!  there is a fire!”

and that piece of white-hot genius is called Orianthi!!!!

i have been talking about her to eeeveryone but no one gets why i’m so excited.

i am hoping this will usher in a new age of  mainstream rawk-virtuoso worship.  because eddie, prince, lenny, and slash are cruising past middle age!!!

…and maybe this time, the chicks will rule and the boys will drool.

amazing.

…i am totally in love w her now that i’ve met her, sang in harmony w her, seen her smile, watched her be hilarious and completely run her production like a true professional.

congrats lady gaga; you did it!!! 2 grammys and surely more to come!

i’m sort of free and waiting for shiz to happen at the moment, so i’ve been spending a leetle too much time on the internet.

not to mention my boyworld has gone a bit berserk and i’m feeling pretty deprived of lovin…what better way to cure boredom and restless hormones than to look at freakin spring 2010 haute couture on elle.com?

here are some of my fave looks:

GIVENCHY

omg i LOVE strange/avant takes on menswear for women!  love this styling too

effortless, traffic-stopping, a bit kooky!  in love

part zodiac, part harlequin, also glam-rock

emerald +  mesh top + spangled flipflops = cyberpunk sari heaven

i think i’ve found a new dream wedding dress.  kickin the one in this post straight to the curb.

CHANEL

if i had a valentine, i’d wear any one of these while sweetly/maniacally aiming my arrows assward:

omg SO lagerfeld.  LIVING for this one

this screams “i’m five, it’s my birthday, and some nasty boy just spilled sno-cone on my new barbie doll!!! KILL KILL”

DIOR

Audrey from Little Shop of Horrors meets the B-52s

very David Lynch villainess

GAULTIER

amazon princess mafia?

crazy cat lady wins lottery, moves to Pandora

ARMANI PRIVE

genius! looks like her body is frozen in a glamourous ice cube

60s, 80s, Jetsons-style futuristic…very luxe-looking fabric!

ALEXIS MABILLE

Cruella DeVille’s granddaughter Cruellita

old-lady glam punched in the vadge by cobalt

cue orchestra, spiral staircase entrance, burning of philandering husband’s prized possessions

ANNE VALERIE HASH

Karen O moment!  looks like no room for boobies though

(looks in closet filled with Mom’s vintage, Forevs21, and H&M) ……someday……

here are my photos from last night’s 6th Annual PILL Awards at Arena!!!  they were amazing and SO well-produced; the venue looked gawgeous!! major props!!!!!!

…for those not familiar, Michael Musto (who was there lookin so cute in his little skinny-guy jacket) calls them the “gay Oscars.” fer sher they are!

King Ralphy of gaysocialites.com, Gazelle, and I presented “Best Animation FX” to Samwell for “What What (In The Butt)!”

Mike Dreyden (link is NSFW guys), King Ralphy lookin so cyootie, yaws truly, Jackson Sinatra the dog, and according to Ralphy that chick wrote the “what’s she gonna look like with a chimney on her” song…

Demanda Dahling, Dina Delicious, and me

i loved this boy!  what a sweetie

THE DAZZLE DANCERS!!! i can’t even tell you how much this satisfies my glittoris.

i love Amanda Lepore.  LOVE!!!  ugh of course this is the one pic in which my hair looks like a wet dog

this dude was at the lady gaga auditions with me!!!!!! i mean, that thing i shouldn’t be talking about.  but he was KILLIN it onstage with an original song!

my performance outfit!!!!! do you like?! created with scissors, pins, and crap i bought at the mall in NJ

i performed “Catcall” (a Chevonne and Larry Tee production soon-to-be available!!) with The AlieNation!  GLITZ baby GLITZ

and i met BEBE ZAHARA BENET, winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race season 1!!! oh yes oh yes oh YESSSSS

i also met megasuperstar DJ/producer Junior Vasquez and got a cell phone lobbed at my ass during my performance!!!  hahahaha, womp!

i have stories and pictures and details and gossip and gushing…

but all i am allowed to give you is this photo of today’s look.  REAWR!!!

win-win situation?  you be the judge…:)

i drool.  curvy christinas in decadent, strapless, sweetheart-neckline’d peach confections!!

also, check out my show poster for the Delancey show!  cute!

from last week’s plane trip….

mmm sexay.  undead O face.

mmm, resin.

yeah, this is nice and legal…

hahahaha, i mean can you imagine carrying this through security?

what are the last three?  was my great-great-great-grandma Alicia Keys?

i need this in my future foyer.

y’know, just a cat poopin inside a plant.  comin out of a hole.

is this the size of a blade of grass?!  like, what’s going on?

so yeah, next christmukkah…youseguys know what to get me…

ADDENDUM!!  from chat with my BFF regarding this post:

BFF: wait u know why the cat is coming out of the plant right

but

first of all i have a huge question for you

me: it’s a litter box

BFF: right and u turn it around later so it looks like a (smelly) plant

but

you are going to hell

YOU STOLE A SKYMALL?

!!!!!!

me: hahaha no!!!

BFF: LOL

me: i took pictures of it!

on the plane

BFF: LOL OH

hahahahahahahaha

me: the stewardess was lookin at me funny   (ed:  whoops, i meant “flight attendant!”)

…you write your own jazz standard to try and curb your emo outpouringz.  it even has a friggin cole porter-style introduction.

you can imagine the fred and ginger number (or maybe a baz luhrmann one with, like, corbin bleu and nina dobrev.)  what is WITH me, guys?!…

WHY CAN’T WE SAY I LOVE YOU

you can give a kiss for charity

or pity, if you dare

you can give a kiss for healing

or to punctuate a longing stare

but the greatest kiss of all would be

the one that travels from you to me

after saying words just three

igniting strange new melodies…

why can’t we say i love you

in the purple glow of night

it would mean the very same

in any shade of light

why can’t i say i need you

have i fallen much too fast?

why can’t we say i love you

if my heart already has?

your eyes are gazing back at mine

our hands are always there entwined

but only in my lonely mind

why can’t it come to life, when will it be our time?

why can’t we say i love you

in the lazy glades of spring

a few more miles, a waiting while

will barely change a thing

why can’t i say i’ll fade away

if i never sing the truth?

why can’t we say i love you

if my heart’s already blue?

why can’t i say i’m so afraid

that we’re done before the start?

why can’t we say i love you

it’s all i’m asking of you

why can’t we say i love you?

i say it every minute in my heart…

i need to stop watching nancy meyers films and irving berlin musicals, walk a couple city blocks in the cold, chug a beer, and man up!!!  yes?  yes!

back to work (real work!  no more of this sappy songwriting crap) in a few days…….

how i am spending my Minnesota vacation.  (in a rare no-makeup, no-glitz moment…you caught me!!!)

to give youseguys some context, i was doing the Cupid Shuffle with some fabulous waiters.

sorry i’ve been so absent, but with striking Viking types and naughty nerds around to play with, i’m as good as gone.

<3 <3 <3

no pictures, no news.  (tomorrow NYE BLACK & WHITE BALL though!!!! boarding the maje train!)

i don’t know what to do with myself!!  i feel weird, electric.  musicrazy.

hungry and tired, naughty and inspired, happy and wired, confused….thinking about this past year….

2009, you were good to me, but i think i can do even better.  2010 seems like a mighty good catch, and it looks to me like he’s packin somethin HUGE.

new year’s resolutions:

1.  no more drunk blackouts…i only get drunk about 4x/year but it’s always xtremely suh-loppay.  and apparently, during the latest blackout, some random guy kissed my white-lace-covered boobz and that is NOT COOL.

2.  stop making the first move (i ALWAYS do)

3.  try not to be such a scatterbrain

4.  try to be more of a scatterbrain

and, most importantly…

5.  strike out on my own!!!  youse KNOW it’s impossible to be a completely self-sustaining Aspiring Superstar (you’d laugh if you knew some’a my side jobs).  werkin on it though.

i love you.

but i’m gonna try rull hard not to say that out loud…